Introducing tiresias1000: mint, unhinged

When I started this blog, I always intended to point readers to corners of the internet where crazy people are doing interesting philatelic things. I haven’t done much of it yet, but now one Instagram account has forced my hand.

If you know Instagram, skip two paragraphs. If not, and if you like design, or art, or stamps, you should investigate. This is not a How-To-Instagram post, but in brief: people go there, share pictures, and like and/or comment on each others’ pictures. That’s it.

The Instagram cliche is to post a restaurant meal, cocktail, bikini body or holiday snap to make your friends jealous. But lately I’ve been delighted to see an increasing number of philately-related users popping up. Some are so basic that they’re downright dull, but many are vibrant and fun, and some are nothing short of works of art.

You can decide for yourself which category my Instagram page belongs to, but for once I’m not here to talk about me. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you tiresias1000.

Mr Schqperia – ventriloquist. 'Say something mate' shouted the crowd. 'A gottle of geer' said the substandard entertainer. 'Yer lips are moving mate' screamed the restless mob. 'Ha ha ha' retorted the vegetarian stage act, 'what's your point?' 'Get off, your shit mate' replied the frantic assembly. 'Well your grammar and punctuation leaves something to be desired' came the testy reply from the lazy performer. Mr Schqperia's beard was twice as bad. He died with his hand inserted. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€βš°βš°βš°#stamps #philately #pimpmystamp #mate #sayings #bottle #beer #entertainment #lips #moving #scream #mob #vegetarian #point #theshit #leave #desire #sharp #vegetarian #lazy #performer #beard #moustache #hairstyle #lifestyle #shoes #pose #portrait #art

A post shared by Tiresias (@tiresias1000) on

OK, this is going to take some explanation.

I don’t know if tiresias1000 is individual or movement, genius or madperson, and I don’t want to ask. But his/her/its/their Instagram feed is a stream of constant delight. Whether regaling us with questionable biographical details of the subjects of classic stamps, or concocting spurious variations photoshopped by someone who is not very good at Photoshop, tiresias1000 rarely fails to make me laugh.

The average tiresias1000 post features a stamp, a potted biography, multiple and often unrelated emojis, mention of the wanton Mrs Tittersley, a cause of death, and more hashtags than is legal. The perfect tiresias1000 follower would appreciate dadaism, meme humour, design, philately from the classic era, and beards. Especially beards. The question left lingering in my brain after every post: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS AIMED AT?

Answer: me. I love you, tiresias1000.

Tracing tiresias1000’s Instagram feed back to its earliest days affords us an archaeological insight into the condition of the human(?) mind. It would seem that he/she/it/they started a rather straight Instagram feed of philatelic items in July 2016. Only the final hashtag hinted at the bedlam that was to ensue.

The obsession with facial hair begins within a few weeks. It’s not long before the feed becomes 100% beard, including this rarity that I could not find in Stanley Gibbons.

No.3: Sarah 'Fergie' Ferguson – duchess, novelist and television personality. Having previously posted that women, and bearded women in particular, are rarely celebrated philatelically, further study has proved me wrong on both counts. Edna Ferber's contention that talented women are unrecognised also lies in tatters. Who can forget Fergie's sophisticated and riveting tales about Budgie the Helicopter. She deserves her place in the pantheon of stamp celebrities on merit, not because she was once a minor royal. Her beard is thick and her ginger mane looks swishy. Fergie is alive and wellπŸ‘±πŸ‘±πŸ‘±πŸ¦πŸ¦πŸ¦#stamps#philately#duchess#novelist#personality#tv#television##beard#beards#mustache#moustache#hair#hairstyle#lifestyle#tatty#sophisticated#rivet#tales#budgie#helicopter#merit#thick#mane#swish#study#ginger#alive#wellbeing #fergie#selfie

A post shared by Tiresias (@tiresias1000) on

By December, tiresias1000 is experimenting with multiple images and using hashtags and emojis of no relevance to the post. There is soon an onset of varieties of spurious legitimacy and often questionable artistry. But sometimes not.

Anatole France – international man of letters. Anatole had a song for every occasion. If you were sad, he was sadder. If you were happy, he was happier. If you were in love, he could double it. If you found artistic expression in painful shoes, Anatole trounced it with a wittier metaphor. If you'd had a slippy experience with the muddy Mrs Tittersley, he'd had it muddier and slippier. He sang his songs in a high pitched whine, which was always annoying. His beard surpassed itself. Anatole died before anyone else. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€βš°βš°βš°πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’„πŸ’„πŸ’„πŸ‘™πŸ‘™πŸ‘™πŸ‘™ #stamps #philately #pimpmystamp #song #sad #happy #artistic #pain #shoes #mud #slippy #slip #annoyed #beard #moustache #hairstyle #lifestyle #mercy #hair #poetry #sayings #meaning #quotes #dentistry #savings #money #tax #wrestling #wine #bouncy

A post shared by Tiresias (@tiresias1000) on

As worldwide demand kicks in and the pressure of maintaining a cutting edge philatelic platform on the internet mounts, Tiresias1000 appears to reach the point of clinical insanity at the turn of 2017. The obsession with beards remains. Though not here.

I don’t know who or what you are, tiresias1000, but I have no hesitation in declaring you the most brilliant corner of the internet. You clearly know your shit, yet you are pissing it gloriously against the wall. You deserve way more than 568 followers, and I hope that with this post, I add maybe at least a good three more.

Enjoy this random selection of tiresias1000’s Instagram posts, and for the sake of all that is good and pure on the internet, FOLLOW!

I am slightly less deserving of your adoration than Tiresias1000, but that’s no reason not to like, link, share, and follow me, right? Let’s find each other on Facebook, Twitter, and especially Instagram! πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

2 thoughts on “Introducing tiresias1000: mint, unhinged

  1. Wow, thanks for this post. I’ve been following tiresia1000 for several months now and I thought he/she/it was YOU! Now I’m even more confused. πŸ™‚

    Like

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